??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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