I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Who died my cat blue again?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
