these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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