dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
