remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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