Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
