new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
