He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
