You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
