bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
