whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Who put my cat in the fridge?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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