i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
