just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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