I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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