I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I can't turn off my feet"
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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