The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
