so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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