We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
