haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
