He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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