"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
