i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
