hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
