is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
