Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
