I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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