Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
