I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
