And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Randomize
