I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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