You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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