I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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