I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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