So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
