dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
