i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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