they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
