Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Success! We fucked roommates!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
