Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
