he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
