I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
