So drunk, too bad you don't want this
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
