You're completely useless in the revolution.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
