Whoa Z and x make the same sound
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
