office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
