He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Randomize
