My first STD was from a foam party
I want to have your abortion
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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