At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
