Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
