there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
