Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
